Flying in the dark

I laughed, people thought I was crazy,
I cried, people thought I was insane,
I smiled, people thought I was out of my minds,
I knew then, whatever I do,
They will never stop with their own judgments.

I knew life goes on, despite what they say,
Despite their sarcasm, and bitter looks,
I found a path to lead my life,
A bit lonely it may seem, but who cares when,
Solitude is better than hatred.

I paused the Vivaldi's Four Seasons,
To listen to their heartbeats,
Their breaths hiding the bitter poisons,
But, did I ever wonder what they meant to say?
With their gestures floating in the air,
I ignored every bit of them, to find a peace in my mind.

I let it run, each moment that came my way,
I might have been scared of the past,
The recurrent theme of animosity,
I might have pondered about the future,
But, did I really care what came next?
Every day bringing the sheer surprise,
I realized life is worth flying in the dark.

Recall

Clean trousers, grey shirt tucked in, 

He walks along the lines to follow, 

A dark void that's just been created, 

Failed imagination to summon Apollo. 

Chains that drag his feet along, 

Much to the pain that resides and taints, 

Glory that he basks amidst this misery, 

Reflects nothing else but the historic ruins, 

Dreams that never shatter, he recalls a tale, 

A paradise they call it if that exists at all, 

Morning woes that follows a nightmare, 

Faded bliss he tries to track on the trail, 

He walks with his head held high, 

Like a soldier that conquers a post, 

Nothing to mourn, he whispers, 

Just the goodbye kiss he misses the most,

Yet he smiles as he marches on, 

The path he never thought he'd cross,

The destiny that's just been redefined, 

A vague memory of his youth still lingers.

Again, he thinks every thing has an end, 

As the sun fades beyond the dark clouds, 

Some embrace the pain as glory, 

While some hide it as a pale shroud

One more push

The brown leaves that I crush every day, 

Beneath the bike wheels I roll, 

The point of journey, uphill that I dread, 

Every day makes me think-"Just one more pedal to complete, 

Then I'm downhill again";

Long, deep breath, almost drained with sweat,

I push myself for the last time, 

I realize its just one more cycle to go through, 

The breeze that whispers across my ears,

Tells me to stop,

And rather walk, 

I go deaf to all the voices that I hear, 

Despite the tribulations, the fatigue running down my legs, 

I muster all the courage, 

To climb up the hill every day;

Hurray! my inner self proclaims each time, 

The moment my bike rolls itself again. 

My daddy told me life ain't easy when I was a kid, 

I looked at my life then, and thought why not? 

I confess it was easy then, 

Until I bumped into the real world, 

I recall the moment I almost gave up, 

My daddy said just one more push, 

One more time that you ought to kick, 

Now I think I was being stupid-giving up,

How I wish I had my bike then, 

To remind me to pedal once again.

I want to dream

I wake up, 

I wake up from a dream, 

Me flying in the sky, 

Blue, serene, and so surreal,
I gather an endless joy, 

Amidst the white clouds I smile, 

I smile for the pain, 

For the bliss,  and for the life I had, 

With a cunning grin in my face, I lie;

I lie to my soul, 

To tell me that the dream is real, 

Then I close, I close my eyes, 

To dream again, flying in the sky. 

The sun goes down, 

A dark sheet covers up the sky, 

I wake up again; in an utter silence,

To summon the stars, 

But the glow that still persists, 

Little birds flapping their wings, their chirps, 

Loved ones waiting in the nest, for the time, 

To share their delight, and agony to endure, 

Right when I delve into my thoughts, 

The stars twinkle, 

To bring back the ambience that I had lost, 

For a moment, I had thought, 

This was the end, 

Then I close, I close my eyes, 

I want to dream once again. 

Your shadow in the trail

When I see you at the same coffee shop,

The same cappuccino, the same bagel in your hand,

The same make-up on your cheeks,

And still the same white scarf around your neck,

I wonder if you ever felt detached from me.

Still you persist; you say its over,

You say there is no line between you and me,

Your thick, black hair still lurking beneath your shoulders,

The same red heels that you wore,

On our first date, the same perfume around you,

Are these memories still with you?

Does that remind you how much I cared?

I know how you feel,

Your arrogant pride won’t let you confess,

To face the truth that you miss me,

Those long nights of phone calls, those dates,

I know you won’t forget; the time by the shore,

The first time I kissed you under the moon,

Overseeing the fading sun, you had said this is all you want.

And you still say you have moved on,

I wonder if you really have,

The other day, I walked by the park we spent most of our time,

I recalled the moment, my head lying on your lap,

Counting stars, cursing the dark clouds and their shadows,

And you had said this is all you want,

Now I wonder if you really meant it, or I might be wrong,

Could be my fault to still trace your shadows,

On the footsteps in the trail, you had said this would be our last date. 

तिम्रो साथ

तिम्रो आँखामा संसार देख्ने कोशिस गर्दा
आज म सबैबाट पराइ भए
तिम्रो साथमा गन्तब्य पुग्ने प्रयास गर्दा
किन किन क्षितिजपारि हेर्न भुलें
दोष दिन्न तिम्लाई म, म नै नादान थिए
तिम्रो आँखामा संसार देख्ने कोशिस गर्दा

तिम्रो आलंग्गनको न्यान्यो स्पर्शले
मेरो आँखा छोपिदिंदा
सामिप्यका मेरा साथी सबै म भुली गए
तिम्रो गल्ती थिएन केही, म नै नादान थिए
तिम्रो आँखामा संसार देख्ने कोशिस गर्दा

Silence

The moment of truth so subtle yet clear,
We both failed to see that fire of desire.

The wind that blew against your will,
Left the scars that only time can heal.

You didn’t believe in destiny, neither did I,
Fate knocked on the door, but we let it fly.

What could have been said, you hid beneath,
I waited too long, believing only in faith.

When I said I love you, you didn’t believe,
When you finally realized, I had to leave.

A faint hope

From thee I’ve heard a desire to succeed,
A heartbeat that gasps my breath,
On thy shoulder I rely, for an impetus to lead.

A murmur that relics beneath thy whisper,
Like a drop of dew in lily leaves,
From thee I’ve mustered, an impulse to roar.

Amid the pain I suffer, hides a faint hope,
Like a tiny candle that glows in a heavy rain,
But thy smile lightens the dark sky up above.

Expect the Unexpected

“I have seen enough,” he murmurs walking down New Road Gate,
Stops halfway through and glances back at the shop,
The shop still as crowded as it used to be,
People waiting in line, pushing one another to be up front,
He recalls a famous quote, giggles and turns back,
“Ignorance is bliss,” he laughs and keeps on walking,

It was not long ago, he remembers the story on the shop,
“All over media, talk of the town,” he rambles,
He says, “Why am I concerned?” let it be,” and looks around,
For a moment he forgets where he was headed,
“Bit**s, man,” he overhears two teenagers talking about their failed love,
He sighs and whispers “Been there” with a wicked grin on his face,

He walks past Tundikhel, in a crowd pushing people around,
A scene he thinks one sees in a theatre after a movie ends,
Or in an emergency evacuation of a building,
“But, I see it every day,” he rants under his breath,
“Shahid Gate,” he almost bursts into laughter, “How many do we have?”
He thinks, “One is not enough,” and feels good about his sarcasm,

Singh Durbar, he remembers his destination, when an old pal pulls him aside,
He tells his friend, “I got to go now, lets meet up for a drink later.”
“Those MPs are not friendly,” his boss had warned him, “Be professional,”
He walks in with his ID-badge around his neck, and looks around,
“This is where the policies are made,” he feels proud that he is there,
To his utter dismay, he finds nothing but careless group of people,
A security guides him into a waiting room; “Got only five minutes left” his inner self speaks,
He pulls out a paper, and glances quickly, “This should go well,” he feels confident,

As he enters the room, he sees the person he never wanted to see,
He wonders for a bit, recaps and comes back to reality,
“He murdered two people,” he recalls, “I covered that story”
He is sure of what he covered in the past, but the present is still vague,
“How could this guy be the Chief in this office,” he ponders,
Few drops of sweats flowing down his eye-brows; he wipes them, and sits back,
He calms down, and takes a paper out of his pocket,
“So, how did you get here from the crime business?,” his first question was not what he prepared last night,
“No comments,” is what he gets back most of the time,
He panics for a bit, but recalls another quote, and giggles,
“Expect the unexpected,” he stands up, and leaves with a grin on his face.

Black Sunday

Black clouds, dark rain,
Lightning in the sky, and a heavy wind,
I sit down on the couch,
Facing the window with a cup of coffee in my hand,
Took a few sips, and stared through the window,
Rain still clattering with the concrete outside,
I kept staring at the fallen, dead leaves,
Naked trees, and their dead hopes,
I was restless, my heart pounding a little bit,
I wiped my brows, and kept looking through,
A ray of light flickers in the sky,
I gather a glimpse of hope; but clouds growl once again,
I could hear pouring rain, whistling trees,
My legs shivered, hands trembled, I could hear my breath,
The phone rang a couple of times before I could reach it,
“Hello”, “Yes, this is him,”
Before I could recall, phone fell through my hands,
Crumbled onto the floor, pieces scattered around,
My eyes just glued at the window,
Black Sunday was just about to begin, rain still pouring down,
I sat down with my hands clutched,
Tears streaming down my cheeks, clock still ticking,
“That ain’t true,”-I murmured,
Mozart’s Requiem playing on the background,
I collapsed onto the table, with my hearts shattered,
All I wished was this day to be over.